Letting Go and The Satisfaction of Plenty

The reason we hold on to clothes that I will discuss today encompasses all the of the aforementioned reasons that we hang on to clothing that we do not need...and yet it has a feeling all to itself.

The reason I refer to is the satisfaction of plenty. Just like enjoying a full belly is different from eating because you fear hunger, receiving satisfaction and comfort from a full closet is related to, but different from, hanging on to clothes because you fear the outcome of letting them go.

There are plenty of us who are comforted by the knowledge that we have a lot of stuff. You might know that it's really more than you need, but it pleases you that you have it at your disposal. It's not a love for a certain item of clothing. It's not sentimentality or nostalgia for this piece or that. It's the general warm and fuzzy feeling that you hold for quantity.

If you were to really dissect and examine this feeling, you might find at the heart of it a fear of lack. And you'd be partially right. But it's really more about the pleasure of acquisition and the belief that more is better, than anything else.

What do you do if this is you?

It comes down to making the decision that you would rather experience pleasure from quality over quantity. Quality meaning not only in form but in function: it looks great on you, you love it, and you wear it often. Would you rather have a very small closet that contains only the clothes that are guaranteed to make you look and feel fabulous every day? Or would you be happier just knowing that you have a lot of clothes?

In your mind, practice replacing one pleasure with another. Project yourself mentally into the future and imagine yourself feeling incredibly happy with your fantastic, streamlined wardrobe. Imagine how much easier it will be to get dressed each day, and how consistently stylish and put-together you will look. See yourself content and satisfied by the quality of your small wardrobe.

Then...choose to let go.

Not everyone would choose a very small closet. But you can tell which choice I would make....

See you next time...same blog time...same blog channel....

(Visit my Wardrobe Planning Website for more information or to subscribe to my E-Zine.)

An Uncertain Future -- One More Reason It's Hard To Let Go

Yesterday I shared how imagining all the future possibilities of an item of clothing can make it hard to let that item go. Today I'll talk about one aspect of that imagining -- the fear caused by an uncertain future.

What if....

Lurking in the back of our minds is the fear that we won't be able to provide for ourselves in the future. This isn't a vague "what if I want this item again someday" kind of fear, but a primal, instinctive fear of lack.

We can know that we are provided for today, in this very minute. All we have to do is look around ourselves and see everything that we have. But tomorrow is another story. And next year, the year after that...the further out in time we go from today, the less certainty we feel we have about our future.

You could lose your job....
Illness could strike....
A disaster could hit your home....
Anything could happen.

And then you might need the very same article of clothing you are contemplating giving away right now.

Panic strikes. You think, "If I don't keep this, I might not have any clothes when I really need them. I have to keep this just in case!"

Now is the moment you take a deep breath. You can imagine a million and one reasons to fear the future. But it is nearly impossible that they will all come to pass. Just like not wanting to let go of the past, fearing the future keeps you from truly living in the present.

Give yourself some credit. Know that no matter what comes your way, you will be able to handle it. Here are some ideas to focus on:

First of all, even without any new additions, a minimalist wardrobe in great shape will keep you well-dressed a nice long time. So should something unforeseen happen, you will still be well-provided for.

Second of all, think about the fact that that article of clothing (that you never wear) could be dressing someone else right now. At this very moment there is someone else in the world who would be delighted to be wearing what you haven't wanted to wear in who knows how long. (And if someone else wouldn't be delighted, then why are you hanging on to it, for goodness sake?) In the same way that you can help someone who is lacking, someone will be able to help you, should you ever need it.

And lastly, I want you to contemplate the idea that there are so many articles of clothing being manufactured in the world right now, that even if there were no new ones made beyond today, it's quite possible that we'd all have enough clothes to wear for a very long time.

So don't let a fear of the future convince you to keep clothes you should be letting go.

Next time I'll talk about how the comfort of plenty can keep us holding on to clothes that we really ought to let go. See you then...same blog time...same blog channel...

(For more information, or to sign up for my free weekly E-Zine, please visit my Wardrobe Planning website.)

Learning to Let Go

How many of you have put off and put off sorting through a closet that you know is over-full with obsolete articles of clothing? And how many of you have agonized over whether or not to give an item of clothing away? Or pulled a garment from the give-away pile at the very last minute? One of the most challenging tasks we face in our wardrobe planning endeavors is the letting go of clothes that are no longer serving us.

Why is this? What is it about clothes, and other possessions as well, that brings up a palpable sense of loss when we think of separating from them? They are not living. They do not love us back. So what causes this and how can we work through it so that we can reach the peace of a pared down life?

Over the next few posts, I'll touch on a number of reasons for this strange phenomenon. Today I will discuss the first reason: Clothes represent an investment of our money.

You may feel that this is obvious, but there are some deeper issues involved that complicate the relationship. By spending money on an article of clothing, we've traded away the possibility of spending that money on some other thing. Deep down we worry that if it wasn't a good choice, we will have lost not only the money, but any other opportunity that that money could have bought for us. So choosing to give up an item that you've paid for can bring up these very strong feelings of loss...it isn't so much the item that we fear losing, it's the lost opportunities that we grieve. By holding onto the clothes we can attemp to keep those feelings of loss at bay --even though an unworn item has no more use to us hanging in our closet than it does on the discard pile.

How do you work through this? Acknowledge that there are lost opportunities. And that that is OK. And then remind yourself that the opportunites were lost the moment that you spent the money, not in this moment right now. Don't agonize over the money spent, or relive your decision to spend. That was in the past. Take yourself instead into the future, and how good it will feel to have everything in your closet be something you will actually wear.

Next time I will continue with the challenges in the process of letting go. See you then...same blog time...same blog channel....

(For more information on wardrobe planning, or to subscribe to me E-Zine, please visit my website.)