Gratitude as an Element of Wardrobe Planning

Over the past week, I've been discussing how the Paradox of Choice affects both our clothing choices and how we maintain our closet. Today I'll share some thoughts about how approaching your wardrobe with an attitude of gratitude impacts your ultimate satisfaction with your wardrobe.

If I may share a bit about my wardrobe planning philosophy -- I believe that the most functional wardrobe consists of a pared down closet full of clothes that you love that look great and reflect how you wish to be perceived by the world. A closet that is overburdened with too many choices leads to an inconsistent image and dissatisfaction with your overall appearance. We've been talking about some of the reasons this is so.

However, it is very hard to be satisfied with less choice unless you can be grateful for the clothing that you've chosen to be in your closet. When you aren't grateful for what you have, you are longing for what you don't have. Here is where wardrobe planning can help you figure out what to keep and what to let go of...and it can give you a sense of peace surrounding the choices you've made. It also gives you a plan for moving ahead into the future, so that you can let go of a lot of the fear surrounding not having "enough".

Right now, I am in the midst of a wardrobe updating of my own. I have a wardrobe of clothes that I love, and have served me well. But for many of these outfits, their functional life is near over. It's time to let them go, and bring in some new. However, I am still very grateful that I've had these outfits, and I will continue to be grateful for them until I have replaced them. My wardrobe plan allows me to be able to strategically replace these garments without anxiety.

Remember:

You are a work in progress. Thinking that your closet must be perfect before you can appreciate what you have will set you up to fail. Think instead of seeing every piece in your wardrobe as having a function...perhaps you are not able to afford the quality of clothing that you desire, or this season you will not be able to update as extensively as you thought you might be able to. Be grateful that you have a functional wardrobe that is easy to manage. Love the garments that you wear, take good care of them, and appreciate them for how they serve you today...knowing that you are not tied to these garments for the rest of your life. Having a plan for slowly upgrading, for slowly improving, for always evolving is far more valuable than having the perfect wardrobe today.

Join me tomorrow when I share how keeping up with the Joneses can disrupt even the best laid wardrobe plans. See you then...same blog time...same blog channel....



(For more information on the topics of wardrobe planning, style and image, pleasestop by my website.)

Questions From The Audience, Part One

Greetings! Today is the day of the week that I try to answer questions and address comments that have come from you, my loyal readers. There were so many questions this week that I decided to divide and conquer. Today I'll spend time answering questions from the ladies...and then next time I'll answer all the great questions from you fellas.



First, April Braswell had asked about how to manage a wardrobe when you are between sizes. I responded to her in the comments, but I'll repeat my answer here, as I get this question from a lot of curious people.

Jennifer responds: Figuring out what to wear in-between sizes can be a challenge. You want to look your very best at all times, but you don't want to buy an entirely new wardrobe every month. However, there is one thing that you can do to stretch your wardrobe without breaking the bank. Try to put the focus of your wardrobe on less structured items (usually sized s-m-l instead of numbers) as these will fit a slightly broader range of sizes. It takes some looking, but there are some really great clothes sized this way. Reward yourself periodically with one or two key structured pieces that really show off your new figure...realizing that you will let these go once you've reached your next size.



Next, Lisa McLellan says, "I'm waiting for you to tackle the issue of finding everything you need or want in your size when you don't have any money. Then when you have some money you can't find a thing you like or at least not in your size."

Jennifer responds: This can be frustrating! Some of it can be helped by strategy, and some of it is plain ol' Murphy's Law. The first thing to do is to organize your wardrobe in such a way that you are never caught in the position of needing something right away. Know that you have enough outfits to carry you through even if something dreadful happens to a piece of clothing and it needs to be replaced. When you seasonally review the contents of your closet, take note of what needs to be purchased, and make a list. Then take your time finding these pieces. This gives you and your wallet some breathing room. Another tip is to discover your fail-safe brands that you can always rely on. This way you can shop online with reasonable confidence...and online shopping is one way to locate sizes that might not be in the stores at the time you go looking.



Lastly, Sue Crutcher asks, "I have to wear many hats during a day (construction worker, holistic health care provider, retreat manager, gardener, gourmet cook, hostess..) what to do...?!?"

Jennifer responds: You are a lady with many talents! When you have so many areas of your life that require different attire, it can be tricky managing your closet. But it can be done. First, you'll need to figure out how much of your time is spent wearing each hat. Then look for the crossover. Can one segment of your wardrobe satisfy more than one area of your lifestyle? If so, that is great! For areas that have no overlap, look at how much of your time is spent doing this activity. If it is a small amount, you really won't need all that much to outfit yourself...and this would be one of the few times I'd recommend a small capsule. What you will probably find is that one part of your life takes the most time...and that is where the largest amount of your closet should be dedicated to. Another thing to consider is maintaining some form of consistency across all your various "looks"... maybe having a signature color or a signature piece of jewelry that you incorporate in some small way into each outfit. Get creative with this...and let me know how it goes!



I hope you enjoyed this week's Q&A. Next week, I'll have answers for Matt, Yann, Aaron and John. Come back tomorrow for a discussion of how an attitude of gratitude can improve the outlook of both you and your closet. See you then...same blog time...same blog channel....



(For more information on creating a wardrobe plan, please visit my website!)

Good Enough -- Better Than Best?

Yesterday's posting was all about the opportunity costs of opportunity costs -- what we lose when we put too much mental energy into figuring out all the pros and cons of minor decisions. Now today we'll touch upon the concept of "good enough".

We are all lured by the idea of "best" and everything emotionally associated with it. When you are the "best", or own the "best", what exactly does that mean to you? Why is it so important?

Come with me on a semantic journey here: the word best can be used as both a noun (as in "do your best") and as a superlative ("that is the best car"). The superlative form connotates hierarchy -- if you are the best xyz or own the best xyz then unquestioningly you are or have the highest quality or most desirable xyz of all.

And this means...? Status. Freedom from worry and doubt. "Best" means precisely that there's nothing better...which means you've made a great choice. Ahh...the nirvana of "best"!

We as humans will put a lot of energy into "best" because of how it makes us feel. For some it is more important than others, but we are all affected by this drive. The problem comes when we spend so much energy finding the "best" of something when the truth is, it may not exist. Because, it so happens, "best" is also extremely subjective.

Enter "good enough". Sometimes it's far wiser to go with a suitable choice, rather than stressing out over finding the very best. "Good enough" doesn't have to be a throw-away term of defeat. You can have very definite criteria for what is good enough, and your standards can be quite high. Looking at your options in this manner will save you a ton of stress and worry.

Now, how does this apply to our closet? If you've been following my blog, you probably already have a good idea how to do this. But here are some more ideas to ponder:

1) When shopping for clothes, think in terms of great, amazing, fantastic, fabulous, beautiful....pick your adjective. These are concrete descriptors that can help you make distinctions between items. But avoid obsessing over finding the very best that exists. "Best" is illusory.

2) Begin to see when your desire to find the best option is filling an emotional need rather than a practical one. On the practical side, there are extremely good reasons to have high quality. But if you are trying to find the best because you fear those opportunity costs, fear not.

Tomorrow is Q&A day, when I take questions from the audience. So if you have a burning question that you would like answered, please ask! See you tomorrow...same blog time...same blog channel....

(If you would like more information on wardrobe planning, please visit my website!)

Opportunity Costs and Your Closet

Yesterday's post was about making your decisions nonreversible. Today the topic of discussion is, as Barry Schwartz labels it, the "opportunity costs of opportunity costs".

So just what exactly is an opportunity cost? Simply put, it is the cost of choosing one item over another. Let's say that you have two hours of free time to spend. You decide to go to see a movie. That time is now spent...it cannot also be used to go grocery shopping. Not being able to shop for groceries is one opportunity cost of going to the movie. But choosing the movie has opportunity costs other than the groceries, as well...in fact, it may never be possible to know for certain the sum total of opportunity costs for this decision or any decision.

Examining opportunity costs is often a valid thing to do. If you have money to invest, you want to know which investment is the wisest. If you are choosing a college, you want to make sure you choose one that will provide you with a good education but will also be a good match for you socially. Very large and very important decisions warrant a thorough thinking through.

But what about smaller decisions, like with your closet, for instance? You can choose to buy one shirt over another. You can choose to buy or not to buy. Here is where we run into the opportunity costs of opportunity costs. For smaller decisions like these, it pays to avoid using excess mental energy, as it only leads to stress and indecision.

Here are some ways to avoid the oportunity costs of opportunity costs:

1) Don't be tempted by every new fad and every new trend. Stick with what you know looks good and is flattering on you until it doesn't any longer.

2) I recommend that my clients find out which stores and brands they can consider their "fail-safes", and that they try to stick with these. It makes shopping so much easier!

3) Don't buy clothes unless you need them.

4) Don't worry about all that you might be missing out on. There will be plenty of opportunities left when it is your time to go shopping.

Next time I will talk about the idea of "good enough" and why it is often better than "best". (And yes, it all ties in with everything we've been talking about!) See you tomorrow...same blog time...same blog channel....

(My website has more information on wardrobe planning. I encourage you to stop by!)

The Power of the Nonreversible

Yesterday I explained a bit about the difference between being picker and a chooser, and why being a chooser is the way to go to beat indecision. Today we're going to look at the idea of making your decisions nonreversible, and how that can also help you feel more satisfied with your choices.

How many of you have ever bought something with the thought in the back of your mind: "Well, I can always return it if I don't like it"? Chances are, nearly everyone has had this experience. Now, let's imagine that you've come to this decision after a lot of thought. You've weighed the pros and cons, you've looked at several options, and the decision to purchase was not an easy one -- in fact, you are still not convinced you've made the right choice. Maybe you were even picker and not a chooser. What happens after you buy? Missed opportunity regret. Yup, that sneaking suspicion that we should have gone with the other option instead. And where does that lead but to more stress and anxiety.

This can happen in any situation where more than one option is available, and it's even worse if the decision is a difficult one to make. This one or that one? Do I or don't I? This way or that way? Nothing is worse than continuing the process of deciding long after you've decided!

But here's the interesting thing about choosing: if a person feels that the decision he made is nonreversible he is far more likely to be satisfied with his choice than if the decision is seen as reversible. You might think otherwise -- that a reversible decision is more palatable precisely because it can be changed. But not so! The research that Barry Schwartz discusses in The Paradox of Choice shows that it's actually the reverse.

So what's the lesson here? How do we apply nonrevisible decisions to our wardrobes?

1) Make all your purchases knowing that the only reason for return will be to exchange for the same item. In other words, something was physically wrong with the garment. And remove those tags as soon as it arrives home with you! You will be far happier with this article of clothing than if you allow it to sit around while you finish deciding if you really want it.

2) Many of us fall into the trap of the schizophrenic closet. We have multiple personalities hanging out in our wardrobes, all clamoring for attention. Who am I going to be today? This is a disaster from a style standpiont for more reasons than one. Once you've put all the work into figuring out how you want the world to see you, don't go changing this from day to day. Don't worry that you've made the wrong choice. Know that you can reevaluate at a later date, but for now you are committed to your decision. You will be far more confident, and your closet will thank you for it.

Continuing on with the current theme, tomorrow I will explain the opportunity costs of opportunity costs. See you then...same blog time...same blog channel....

(For more information, please visit my website on wardrobe planning.)

Be A Chooser, Not a Picker

Shopping can be a bewildering experience. With so many options to choose from, how do we make a choice? Barry Scwhartz in his book The Paradox of Choice discusses two ways in which we can make decisions. The first way is to be a picker. The second is to be a chooser. But only one gives us more peace of mind in the end. I will show how both ways affect how we end up with what is in our closets.

A picker looks at all the options available to him, and analyzes each one. A picker is not satisfied with looking at just a few options, but feels compelled to investigate further, deeper and wider. Ultimately a picker wants to pick the very best option, and feels incredible anxiety over picking exactly the right one. You probably remember this feeling from childhood when you stood in front of the candy rack for what seemed like hours and you just couldn't pick out only one from the many. Or as an adult, you may have experienced this when you went to buy a new car or a new computer. We are taught that we need to make careful choices...but when the options are too many, making the choice leads to overwhelm and uncertainty.

A chooser, however, does not feel compelled to examine every option available. A chooser knows the criteria necessary to make a choice between options, and any option that satisfies the criteria will suffice. Often, a chooser will rely on habits and customs when making decisions in order not to waste the mental energy that would be necessay to re-invent the wheel. In spite of this seemingly irresponsible method, the chooser does not experience nearly as much regret over missed opportunity once the choice is made.

In terms of managing your closet, several things become clear:

1) Know before you shop what it is you are looking for. Know what size, what color, what style, what fabric, what price. If you know that a certain brand is fail-safe, then buy that brand. Look until you find what you are looking for. And when you find it, buy it. Don't spend too much time wondering if there might be a better deal around the corner. There may, and there may not.

2) Limit the amount of clothes in your wardrobe. Remember, the more options there are to pick from, the less satisfied you will be with your choice. And the harder it will be to make one in the first place!

3) Have pre-determined oufits to choose from. (Choose, remember? Not pick!) When you know already that something works, you spend less time making decisions.

Tomorrow I'll explain a bit about why you should make your choices nonreversible. And now that you've made your choice to be here tomorrow, I'll see you then! Same blog time...same blog channel...

(If you would like more information on wardrobe planning, come visit my website!)

More on the Paradox of Choice-Adaptation

Yesterday I shared with you the idea that choosing beforehand WHEN you will make clothing purchases can be a helpful practice in managing your wardrobe. And today I will talk about the process of adaptation and how that affects how we feel about our clothing purchases after we've made them.

If you've ever been elated over the achievement of a desired goal, or excited over some good fortune, or incredibly happy to have bought something you really like--only to have that great feeling lose it's strength over time--you have experienced adaptation. Adaptation is an interesting phenomenon we all experience where the high and excitement of something new wears off and turns into mere comfort. Many times people become addicted to the good feelings they get when they have "new" experiences...and they end up no longer content with merely being content.

Whenever we buy something, we anticipate the good feelings we will gain from the purchase. That new car makes our day (or week, or even month). In terms of relationships, the new love makes us feel like we are on cloud nine.

And we forget that over time, the feelings will mellow.

The trick is to ANTICIPATE adaptation...before it occurs. Know that you are buying something because you need it or want it but that the feeling associated with the newness of it (or the feeling of "scoring" such a great find) will not last. Keep this in mind when you are passing up that great "bargain" that you don't really need but you want so very badly. Know that chances are you will not feel nearly so strongly about it in the not-too-distant future.

Come back tomorrow to learn why being a "chooser" is better than being a "picker" (and why beggars can't be either!). See you on the morrow...same blog time...same blog channel....

(Warning! Visiting my website will give you more information on wardrobe planning. Proceed with caution!)